He even forced a knife in my hand once and tried to stab himself, with my hand, so he could claim I was trying to stab him….I was so stupid and trusting and hoped and prayed and met with his therapists….everything….he never felt remorse, actually only cried when thought about how what all he had done said about him.
We played this perfect family, but I wasn’t playing, I worked and loved hard. He has to have admiration of others, and women are easy. He also has no regard for others (empathy) and no qualms at all lying and looking you straight in the eyes, daily, even with proof in your hands. He uses people for his own gratification, not one person means anything to him except for how they can make him feel. When I kept finding more and more concrete proof and he could no longer lie, he got violent because he was discovered and I required he get help, that was the only way I would consider not filing for divorce.
He hit and pushed and lost it instead, he blamed, he belittled me, he did the most cruel things to me to try and bait me so he could blame me…actually tried several times to force me to react, so he could make me the cause of divorce, so he could even have me jailed.
He would be angry at me and tell me I was not a good woman, but then next I was the most “ravishing” “smartest” woman he had ever known, he talked about me and bad mouthed me behind my back to his family and ex-wife (she helped perpetuate this) and his girlfriends, friends and daughters.
I found these degrading emails about me when I went on the search for truth after the phone call (when he meant to call the other woman) he made to me by mistake 4 years ago.
I found social networks, emails, voice mails, pictures (he took them of himself too and they are so vain and sexual), and as I got better at researching I found the disgusting porn sites he paid for, the disgusting male friends he engaged in devaluing women with, the awful and false portrayal he made of me to others.
I found his secret password to open documents and read his letters to and from the other women, listing details of their activities.
They just never said anything because they had no proof, they just felt it. I was horrified, I insisted he get help, he went one time, said the therapist said he had a lot of issues, he came clean with everyone, seemed sincere, ate crow, all the things you would expect, and I thought well he’ll not lie again, he is remorseful, he was traumatized by his wife leaving, etc.
When I found out he was married that first year and confronted him, the reason he said he lied was that the woman who introduced us had gone out with him and he had never told her he was married. etc…made excuses for who I thought was a normal person who made grave mistakes. I did not know people could lie daily and pretend so well…..
He is a complete different person from what he pretended to be.