People are so quick to snap up something half-hearted and then try to make that half-hearted relationship into something more.
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You’re just seeing what he’s doing online and that information is freely available to the world.
Your motivations for checking up on this are worth looking at, though, because it gives me the feeling that either something inside you feels like you don’t quite trust this guy or that you don’t trust the relationship you’re in to have trust as a quality (and so you’re always checking and testing because you don’t have that trust to begin with…
if that’s not what you want with me or in general, 100% in your mind, heart, body and soul… I don’t think it makes you a bad person, I wouldn’t hate you, I wouldn’t be mad at you.
Life is complicated and the heart wants what the heart wants. “When I saw this, it just doesn’t line up with someone who wants to be 100% exclusive. “Life is to short to spend our time, energy and youth on something that isn’t spectacular. I’m fine with either and if you don’t want that, we can part ways as friends – sincerely, no hard feelings.
I am asking because I don’t know if this agreement is assumed on your part or if he explicitly said, “Yes, you and I are exclusive…” or, better yet, “I want to be exclusive with you.” I’ll explain why I bring that up in a moment, but at any rate I agree with you that checking his dating profile seems out of step with having an exclusive relationship with you…
I also wouldn’t even classify this as snooping, per se. You didn’t somehow break into and read his emails or texts.
I would think things like, “Well, things seem good, but what if she’s doing something behind my back and playing me for a fool, etc.
etc.” This type of thing has a lot more to do with our own personal insecurities and not so much with what the other person is or isn’t doing.
Again, I don’t think it makes you bad, but I have to look out for myself. So if you do want an exclusive relationship with me, let’s go all the way. And if you do want it, let’s clear the slate and commit to that.” Now…